Tuesday, July 6, 2021

The Thirty

 

THE THIRTY

About the Authors

 

Chapter 1 – Don Gillette

Don Gillette, editor of He Has Stayed Too Long, has been writing fiction, non-fiction, and poetry since Santa brought him one of the original “Tom Thumb” typewriters for his 6th birthday. He’s published 5 novels, 4 poetry collections, and hundreds of short stories, reviews, newspaper, and magazine articles. You can follow Don on twitter @dongillette and on his website, dongillette.com

Chapter 2 – Mindi Snyder

Mindi Snyder is a book reviewer who shares her passion for reading on Twitter, Instagram, Goodreads, and Amazon. Horror is her first love, but she often reads other genres. When not reading and reviewing, she spends time with her three parrots and is a big fan of horror and Marvel movies. You can find her on Twitter and Instagram @gowsy33

Chapter 3 – Steve Stred

Steve Stred is the author of two novels, four novellas, two collections of short stories, and one collection of poetry.  His work has been described as dark, bleak horror. When not writing, he reads voraciously and publishes reviews on Kendall Reviews. Steve lives in Edmonton, AB, Canada and enjoys spending his free time with his wife, son, and dog.

Chapter 4 – Miranda Crites

Miranda Crites is a reader, book reviewer, photographer, writer, and lover of horror from the ghostly woods of rural West Virginia. She has always enjoyed reading, photography, and writing. Miranda received her first camera as a gift when she was 9 years old and the writing bug also bit her at a very early age. She won the Young Writer’s contest in the first grade and never stopped writing. @Miranda_C_rites is on Twitter and Instagram. Her website is mirandacritesreadsandwrites.com

Chapter 5 – D.W. Gillespie

D.W. Gillespie hails from parts unknown in the dark woods of Tennessee. Supported by his wife and two feral children, he spends most days hunkered over a vintage typewriter he found in a smoking crater deep within the forest primeval. Bearded and muttering, he writes tales to terrify by the light of a kerosene lamp. He is represented by the Brower Literary Agency, and his work has been featured in many publications, both online and in print. His novel The Toy Thief, was met with critical success and his latest novel, One by One is available world-wide from Flame Tree Press. You can follow D.W. on twitter @dw_gillespie and on his website, dwgillespie.com

Chapter 6 – Charlene Cocrane

Charlene Cocrane is one of the moderators of the Goodreads Horror Aficionados group which now boasts over 15,000 members. She also reviews at horrorafterdark.com. She is happily married and the mother of a fantastic young man. Charlene works as a warranty claim administrator for two automobile dealerships to finance her book addiction. Her interest in horror began when she was a child, accompanying her parents to countless drive-in movies. These days, she focuses on novels rather than film. Follow Char on Twitter @Charrlygirl

Chapter 7 – Jonathan Janz

Jonathan Janz is the author of more than a dozen novels and numerous short stories. His work has been championed by authors like Joe R. Lansdale, Jack Ketchum, and Brian Keene; he has also been lauded by Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, and School Library Journal. His ghost story The Siren and the Specter was selected as a Goodreads Choice nominee for Best Horror. Additionally, his novel Children of the Dark was chosen by Booklist as a Top Ten Horror Book of the Year. Jonathan’s main interests are his wonderful wife and his three amazing children. You can follow him on twitter @jonathanjanz and on his website, jonathanjanz.com

Chapter 8 – Bethany Guerra

Bethany Guerra is a horror lover and book blogger currently living in Arizona. When she’s not reading or haunting houses, her time is spent volunteering with birds of prey. She credits her love of horror from two sources: her Dad’s slasher film obsession and her Grandma’s fairy tales. The marrying of the two left her with a great appreciation for all things ‘beautifully terrifying.’ Find her on all platforms @wraithsandroses

Chapter 9 – Lachlan Watt

Lachlan Watt is a writer and musician from Adelaide, South Australia. His short fiction has been featured in Aphotic Realm magazine, various places online, and in The Grey Rooms horror anthology podcast. If he's not writing or spending time with his wife and son, he can be found enjoying a pint of stout in the front bar of the Grace Emily hotel.

Chapter 10 – Terri Harrington

Terri Harrington began writing microfiction on twitter in 2017. Currently she is editing her first novel, Someone Is Watching, which is due to be published in early 2020. Terri’s work can also be read in two upcoming anthologies to be published in late 2019. Besides writing, she enjoys reading horror, thrillers, suspense, and science fiction works. Terri lives in Kansas with her husband, Todd, and their yellow Labrador Retriever, Marty. Follow her @SmartyMarty1126 and on her blog, terrihomeblog.wordpress.com

 Chapter 11 – Aaron Nash

Aaron Nash is an avid reader and film fanatic. Being an introvert, he's never happier than when he’s alone on a dark winter’s night with a good book in his hand. As a new found family man he hasn’t had time to get the many ideas floating around in his head onto paper, but he’s hoping that his contribution to this project will be the stepping stone he needs to branch out. You can follow Aaron on twitter @ApatheticPawn

Chapter 12 – W. Sheridan Bradford

W. Sheridan Bradford was raised on a cattle ranch in Colorado, which explains the smell. Despite his best efforts, he graduated from the University of Houston. His horror novels include All Hallows and Moon Blood. To stalk him properly, holler @wsbradford on Twitter or visit wsbradford.com

 Chapter 13 – Michelle Enelen

Michelle Enelen writes for Kendall Reviews. She's published on Eohippus Labs, Medium, and 42 Words. Her work is part of the 2019 Poetry Marathon Anthology. Michelle has several short stories out for consideration, exempting the ones that have been read on Discord. She is just getting started. You can follow Michelle on Twitter @falln468

Chapter 14 – Kev Harrison

Kev Harrison is a writer and English teacher from the UK, living in Lisbon, Portugal. His short stories have been featured in a number of anthologies, magazines, and podcasts. His debut novelette, Cinders of a Blind Man Who Could See is available now from Demain Publishing. You can connect with Kev on twitter where he is known as @lisboetaingles. His website is kevharrisonfiction.com

Chapter 15 – Sadie Hartmann

Sadie Hartmann (aka Mother Horror) reviews horror for Cemetery Dance and SCREAM magazines. She is the co-owner of the horror fiction subscription company, Night Worms. Sadie lives in Tacoma, WA with her husband of 20+ years where they enjoy perfect weather, street tacos, and hanging out with their 3 kids. They have a Frenchie named Owen. You can follow Sadie on twitter @SadieHartmann and on nightworms.com

Chapter 16 – George Ranson

George Ranson is a lifelong reader with wide-ranging tastes in fiction, but he’s devoted the past few years almost exclusively to horror and is an avid promoter of the genre, particularly of small press, independent authors. He lives on Boston’s South Shore with his wife Judi and their two amazing children, son Tyler and daughter Mikayla. You can find George’s thoughts on everything bookish as Book Monster on twitter @Sshh_ImReading

 Chapter 17 – Owen Morgan

Owen Morgan is a weird/bizarre horror writer from South Wales, UK, and the co-founder of The Abominable Book Club, a horror fiction subscription service. His debut collection Mad Hallelujah and Other Oddities was released in September 2019. You can follow him on twitter @ON_Morgan

Chapter 18 – Tracy Robinson

Tracy Robinson is a horror “cheerleader” who loves to lift up her favorite books through reviews, photographs, as well as on social media. She is a regular reviewer for the Sci Fi and Scary review site and a member of the Ladies of Horror Fiction team, a group of book enthusiasts dedicated to lifting up women in horror fiction. She can be found grading essays at her day job and spending every moment possible outside with her family and pup. She can be found on Twitter and Instagram at @tracy_reads79

Chapter 19 – Chris Sorensen

Chris Sorensen is the author of The Messy Man Series: The Nightmare Room, The Hungry Ones and the upcoming The Messy Man. He is a multiple AudioFile Earphones Award winner for his work as an audiobook narrator (Audible, Tantor, Recorded Books, Hachette, Harper Audio). Chris is also a produced playwright, graphic designer and maker of a mean curried chicken. He haunts a lake house in New Jersey with his wife and pooches. Twitter: @casorensen / Web: casorensenwrite.com

Chapter 20 – Jake Kennedy

Jake Kennedy is a super dad by day and a correctional officer by night. He resides in Illinois with his wife Maggie and his two children, Arianna and Salem.

Chapter 21 – Imber Blu

Imber Blu is a lifelong enthusiast of all things horror reading anything she can get her hands on, watching horror movies within days of their release, and enjoying many haunts in the month of October. She is the author of St. Charles Asylum and Whitefeather Black Raven. Imber enjoys spending time with her children where they live in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. You can find her on twitter @authorimberblu or by visiting her website, ImberBlu.com

 Chapter 22 – Mason McDonald

Mason McDonald is an artist and writer from Dominion, Nova Scotia. A lifelong horror fan, he spends his time either watching scary movies or trying to imagine his own. He encourages readers to follow him on Twitter @Mas0nMcD0nald for all updates on future projects.

Chapter 23 – Frank Errington

Frank Errington was a radio personality in Tucson, Arizona and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Upon his retirement, he dove into reviewing horror fiction and became a highly respected member of the horror community. Sadly, Frank passed away on May 31, 2019 prior to writing his chapter, but he will always be a member of “The Thirty.” His reviews appear on Cemetery Dance online and can also be found on his website, Horrible Book Reviews at frankmichaelserrington.blogspot.com

Chapter 24 – Kyle Gray

Kyle Gray is a screenwriter; he won the Best Writer award at the Wellington Independent Film Festival 2019 for his pilot script Kayfabe (which also appeared on Episode 48 of the Script Shop podcast) and was a Semi-Finalist at the Inroads Screenwriting Fellowship 2019 with his script GrayFox. He is the writer of 10 screenplays and when he’s not at the keyboard, he is relentlessly watching movies and obsessively quoting Quentin Tarantino dialogue. He lives in the UK in Derbyshire with his wife and daughter.

Chapter 25 – J.J. McDowell

J.J. (Jamie Jessica) McDowell is a reader and lover of all things horror. Raised on Vincent Price movies and Stephen King books, she writes short stories and is currently working on her first novel. J.J. taught Freshman English while working on her Master's degree, but is currently an Executive Director at a non-profit arts organization in Wisconsin. Find her at @ZenBookworm on Twitter and @GhostBookworm on Instagram.

Chapter 26 – Jim Herbert

Cartoonisht and Raffertarian Jim Herbert lives in New Jersey. You can find him on social media if you look hard enough, but he claims it really isn’t worth it.

Chapter 27 – Chris Chelser

Chris Chelser is a Dutch-born author with a life-long passion for history, psychology and occultism. Inspired by first-hand experiences, she writes novels, short stories and articles about the stuff of nightmares that may very well be real.

Chapter 28 – Lilyn George

Lilyn G. is the owner of Sci-Fi & Scary, a site which reviews primarily science fiction and horror with an emphasis on covering diverse writers. You can follow Lilyn on twitter @ScifiandScary and on scifiandscary.com

Chapter 29 – Scott Kemper

Scott Kemper was born in Boston, Massachusetts, grew up in the punk scene, and teaches in South Boston. His steady diet of horror fiction started in the 70’s when he was 6 years old with Goosebumps novels. Follow Scott on twitter @rudy53088 where he posts reviews of horror movies. His reviews are also posted on Goodreads and Signal Horizon. He hosts a podcast, Staring Into the Abyss, and is working on a novella.

Chapter 30 – Edward Lorn

Edward Lorn is a reader, writer, and content creator. You can follow him on twitter @EdwardLorn and on his YouTube channel.

 


Saturday, November 30, 2019


He Has Stayed Too Long


     
A Group Novel by The Thirty



     He Has Stayed Too Long will be a very unusual novel; in fact, I don't think there's another one like it anywhere.

     In the fall of 2018, after having a few poems and stories picked up by an anthology, I got to thinking--usually a dangerous thing--could the anthology concept work for a novel where everyone contributed a chapter? And where would I find enough writers crazy enough to participate in an experiment like this?

     The answer came to me that night when I was on Twitter discussing recent horror releases with a few friends in the writer’s community: these folks just might join in. They’re horror fiends—nothing scares them!

     True enough, I put out the call on Twitter and had a fantastic response. Typical novel length and typical chapter length sort of dictated that we write a novel with 30 chapters. The "author" was dubbed “The Thirty.” (“The Dirty Thirty” every once in a while) and the title of the book was arrived at by voting. He Has Stayed Too Long won by three votes, but we might have to re-think that once the novel is finished which should be very soon.

     I finished Chapter One on November 17, 2018 and sent it out to everyone via email the following day. The next writer took Chapter Two and things progressed from there.

     Is it the novel I envisioned while writing Chapter One? Nope. Not even close.

    Is it the novel D.W. Gillespie envisioned while writing Chapter Five? I seriously doubt it. When Jonathan Janz got it at Chapter Seven it was morphing again. By the time Chris Sorenson got it at Chapter Nineteen, it was nothing like I thought it would be. It's evolved with each chapter and each author—and has become more complex and interesting.

     Not every writer in The Thirty was a published author of fiction—they will be soon, but for some, this was their first soirée into the world of writing horror fiction. Each writer brought something to the table and it's been a sincere pleasure for me to get my hands on the successive chapters as the book blossomed. In cobbling this together, I've tried to hold editing to a bare minimum and for the most part, I keep it limited to continuity and the usual, boring, grammatical stuff. And any time I get an email or a DM about a misspelling or a continuity error from one of the authors, I jump right on it. We keep each other on our toes.

     As of this writing, we are on Chapter Twenty Eight, so completion is just around the bend.

     You will, no doubt, recognize some of the authors and some will be new to you. They are:

     Chapter One--Don Gillette
     Chapter Two--Mindi Snyder
     Chapter Three--Steve Stred
     Chapter Four--Miranda Crites
     Chapter Five--D.W. Gillespie
     Chapter Six--Charlene Cocrane
     Chapter Seven--Jonathan Janz
     Chapter Eight--Bethany Guerra
     Chapter Nine--Lachlan Watt
     Chapter Ten--Terri Harrington
     Chapter Eleven--Aaron Nash
     Chapter Twelve--W. Sheridan Bradford
     Chapter Thirteen--Michelle Enelen
     Chapter Fourteen--Kev Harrison
     Chapter Fifteen--Sadie Hartmann
     Chapter Sixteen--George Ranson
     Chapter Seventeen--Owen Morgan
     Chapter Eighteen--Tracy Robinson
     Chapter Nineteen--Chris Sorenson
     Chapter Twenty--Jake Kennedy
     Chapter Twenty One--Imber Blu
     Chapter Twenty Two--Mason McDonald
     Chapter Twenty Three--Frank Errington
     Chapter Twenty Four--Kyle Gray
     Chapter Twenty Five--J.J. McDowall
     Chapter Twenty Six--Jim Herbert
     Chapter Twenty Seven--Chris Chelser
     Chapter Twenty Eight--Lilyn G
     Chapter Twenty Nine--Scott Kemper
     Chapter Thirty--Edward Lorn

      I've got no idea at all how publication is going to work and I pity any publishing company that's got to sign 30 writers up for one book--but that's a bridge I didn't envision having to cross a year ago, so we'll see how it goes... I've gotten to know all of these folks well over the past year and not a soul in the bunch is mercenary or egomaniacal, so we might just publish the thing independently and put the proceeds into a scholarship fund or something. Again, we'll see how it goes...

     So... there's the story up to this point. And thank you for your interest!

     

      

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Physical Books vs. E-Books

HOW MANY BOOKS IS TOO MANY BOOKS?



PART I - A LITTLE BACKGROUND


Please feel free to skip to Part II if you just want to read about physical vs. e-books.

I've always had a love affair with books and I grew up surrounded by them. I don't know how true this is, but my mother claims she'd put me in my crib before I could even walk and say, "Read a book!" and I'd bury my head in one without knowing what it was. This continued throughout my childhood. Whenever I was bored or whining or in the way--"Read a book!"

When I finally learned how to read, there was no stopping me. Comic books were my favorite and my ultimate favorite comics were Superman (whether in Superman, Action Comics, Superboy, or Adventure Comics) and Batman. Occasionally, The Flash or Thor or The Hulk would show up, but I was a DC comic kid all the way. 

Every other Friday, my great uncle (we all called him "Unk") would pick me up at school to spend the weekend with he and my Aunt Dorothy ("Aunt Dort") and go with Unk to get a haircut. Right next to the barbershop was a drugstore and that meant with every haircut, I'd score at least one new comic and possibly two. I still remember standing there at the rack trying to decide and finally just putting that pleading look on my face ... "Can I get two, Unk? Please? I can't make up my mind." Unk never said no. In "my room" at Aunt Dort and Unk's house, I had a special drawer in the dresser that was packed with my collection. I never took them home with me--the two chimps my parents had after they had me might get their hands on them and tear, stain, or otherwise ruin them. So no--those comics stayed right there with Aunt Dort and Unk.

When I discovered Classics Illustrated, I got another drawer in the dresser and the choice became much clearer. One superhero comic and one Classics Illustrated. 

To this day, I can tell you the plot of classic novels I've never even read and I owe that all to Classics Illustrated.

Sadly, I only have two of the original collection in my possession now, sixty years later: Classics Illustrated Frankenstein and a Superman Special Edition--Tales of the Bizarro World.

I keep these in plastic in the safe. They're fragile...

But enough of this sentimental glimpse into the past... I want to talk about books.

Sometime around the 7th or 8th grade, I started reading actual novels--and keeping them. I was a kid, so a novel would last me 4 or 5 months, but I kept at it. The last thing I'd hear every night from either my mother or father would be "Turn off the flashlight and go to sleep!" This continued through high school where I discovered Book Clubs--the ones that would send you a dozen books up front if you promised to buy 4 a year. I also discovered that if you punched a few extra holes in the computerized bill "card" they sent you and sent it back without a payment, you'd never hear from them again. 

I never claimed to be an angel and at 16 years old, I didn't know a thing about author's rights or royalties or anything else. I just liked free books. Yes--I was a thief. A book thief. And I figured it was quite alright because that made me a "high brow" thief and not a common criminal boosting hubcaps or shoplifting records. I was more "The Pink Panther" type of crook leaving a white glove after I'd stolen the jewels.

To my credit (well, actually, a crook is a crook but I didn't know any better), once I got a job I started buying books and joining book clubs where I'd actually fulfill the agreement and buy the required number of books in order to get the free ones. But book clubs have changed a lot--and I didn't know that until I just went and looked. Doubleday Book Club, my absolute favorite in the 70's, now gives you "Two books for $9.99 each if you join today" and you can cancel at any time. When I was a member, you'd get TEN books for free if you promised to buy 4 at regular price throughout the year. They'd send you a catalog each month and it would list their choice of the month. You could either return the card refusing their choice and select your own choice, return the card refusing their choice and choosing not to buy a book that month, or do nothing and their choice would be automatically shipped to you. I would join, get my 10 free books, buy 4 in the next 4 months which would fulfill my membership requirement, then immediately cancel the membership and re-enroll to get 10 free books again.

The first thing I did when I rented my first apartment after college was build a bookcase to hold my library. At the time, I had around 100 volumes and I'd read maybe a third of them--but I intended to get to the rest, so it was okay. My bookcase was built to house 200 books easily and I added to the library as time and money permitted.

My first house had built-in bookcases, but I brought my self-built bookcase with me when I moved in. The built-in bookcases in the family room were filled with what I considered to be "classics" while my self-built bookcase (in my "study") held the ones I liked. The family rooms books were there to show visitors how well-read I was and to impress girls--to let them know they were in the presence of a "man of letters" or, what I'd call now, a "pretentious asshole."

From that house, I moved to the cabin where I'd remain for almost 26 years. The cabin had three rooms; a living room with a little corner kitchen, a back bedroom, and the upstairs--which was one big room. The self-built bookcase came with me and I put it in the living room, but I was left with boxes of books remaining and nowhere to put them. A log cabin, however, is the perfect place for throwing up home-made bookcases which is precisely what I did. The back bedroom became my office and with a truck full of pine 1" X 8" boards, an electric drill, a saw, and a few boxes of drywall screws, the back bedroom was lined with bookcases in no time. And I made sure to feature these bookcases in the author photos for my first two books.

Notice the 5.25" floppy disk organizer to the right--I was cutting edge.

Lesson 1 - Cultivating the Serious Writer image.

Eventually, I realized that if was going to stay in my beloved cabin and have the occasional house guest and family visit, I was going to have to do better than have them sleep on the couch, so I moved my office upstairs, tore out the bookcases, and turned the back room into what it was supposed to be--a bedroom.

But what about the books? They'd gotten out of control by this time. The bookcase in the living room was over-flowing. The bookcases in my office were stuffed. There were books on the floor, books where normal people would store things like dishes... My little 200 volume library had grown to almost 900 books.

Then it hit me. The upstairs of the cabin was open-beam construction. The walls upstairs were actually nothing more than the framework of the roof. Big, hefty 4" X 6" pieces of pine every two feet. What if I just nailed pieces of wood down the beams and then sat a shelf on top of those? I could have two sets of bookshelves, one on each side of the office, both with six shelves and both 18 feet long! Off to Lowe's again.
Yes, Elly Mae, I got me a shitload of book-learnin'.

Problem solved. Enough bookshelves to hold me for the rest of my life. This picture is 25% of the actual space--the shelves you can't see further down were sparsely populated and the identical shelves on the other side of the office were almost bare.  

Life, however, goes on. I met the love of my life. She was not a cabin fan...

And in her defense, the cabin wasn't built for a proper lady--it was built for a hard-living, unsophisticated wild man with an affinity for cheap wine, expensive whiskey, playing in rock and roll bands, and writing whatever any publisher would buy. She lasted 10 months there before announcing that either one or both of us were moving.

We put the cabin on the market, sold it the next day, bought a new house in Nashville three days later, and left most of the furniture (including my beloved self-built bookcase) for the new owner because, I was informed, "we are through with rustic."

But what about all the books?

I went through the library which, by this time, was 1,743 volumes and separated the crème de la crème--the ones I couldn't do without. Then I did it again. Then I did it again. Six times, I did it, whittling down my life's collection each time. I finally settled on keeping 320 volumes which I boxed up for the movers. The rest went into the back of my pickup truck covered with a tarp and I went about the process of trying to find a home for them. Remember--I wanted to keep them--but even though the new house was three times bigger than the cabin, it was a "proper home." I couldn't line every room with bookshelves made out of unfinished, rough-sawn 1" X 8" pine.

The local libraries didn't want my books. Too much work to sort through them, I guess. Easier for them to spend taxpayer money on new books. Local bookstores didn't want them--and there weren't any used bookstores around at this time. I parked the truck near the entrance to a shopping mall with a sign - FREE BOOKS - and left it there for an entire weekend. That put a fair dent in the quantity, but I still had several hundred to go, so I put the tarp back over the books and drove to the new house intent on going back to the mall the next day. That night, despite a weather forecast of "Clear with a low of 65," a thunderstorm came out of nowhere, blew the tarp off the truck bed, and ruined what was left of the library. 

I was heartsick. Sure, I was getting rid of them, but I wanted them to be read, not destroyed. To see them ruined was a horrible feeling. I went to the county dump and tossed them out. It took me almost two hours to throw them into the receptacle because I picked up each one and leafed through the soggy pages before chucking it in the bin. I felt like I'd abused my children. 

PART II - COLLECTING VS. USING


I'm a "collector" by nature and a "cataloger" by habit. There's a Microsoft Access database on my computer that'll tell you the name, year of release, stars, director, genre, and location of each of the 4,703 films in my collection. It'll also tell you if I have the movie on DVD/Bluray or in digital format and, if digital, on which external hard disk drive the film is located. I like "collector" much better than "obsessive-compulsive" but I guess either one would fit. Only (only?) 972 of these films are on discs because there's no room in the closet for anymore discs. 

You can walk into my office and you'd never know I was a serious film collector--all those movies are either on one of the shelves in the closet or on an external hard drive. But a year ago I started going through the discs alphabetically (of course) and getting rid of the ones I know I'll never watch again. It was becoming way too much like hoarding to suit me.

Owning the DVD of that M. Night Shyamalan piece of shit "Lady in the Water" was like keeping a leisure suit on the clothes rack.  

As much as any book lover hates to hear it, this same thing applies to books. If you're not going to read it again, it's in the way. Having it on the shelf might impress somebody who can barely read a traffic sign, but other than that, you don't need it. And if you're a book collector--if you keep every single book you've ever owned--I can almost guarantee you you're either a slob or you've got more room in your house than you need. If I walk into somebody's house and there are books stacked in corners that haven't been touched or books piled on desks that haven't been moved in a year or all the bookcases are stuffed to overflowing and I hear, "I just love books!" the first thing I want to ask is "How about silverfish? You love them too?"

PART III - MY POINT, I'M GETTING THERE


I know, it took me long enough...

When Kindles were first introduced, I was ecstatic. From what I could tell, I could now actually load up 100 books on this little device about the size of ONE book and take it with me wherever I went. I had to have one. Would you like to know how badly I had to have one? Check out the price on my original Kindle:
Complete this sentence: A fool and his money are soon _____.

After I got this Kindle, we went on vacation for 2 weeks. I read 6 books during that time ALL ON THIS DEVICE. I didn't have to lug 6 books with me, didn't have to interrupt pool time for bookstore time, didn't have to leave the books in the hotel when I was finished with them, and didn't have to lug 6 books back home with me. Sim saw me reading on this thing and she had to have one, too.

$800 worth of Kindles and these weren't even touch-screen. You had to click a button that said "Next Page" to turn the page. I mention this because I still can't believe we spent that much money on two e-readers when you can buy them now for next to nothing. I have some stock in Amazon but it'll never increase in value enough to allow me to forgive them for charging $388.99 for a Kindle. Sure, I bought it, so it's actually my own fault, but I refuse to accept the blame.

Anyway, once we got Kindles I began replacing the beloved books I'd gotten rid of with ebooks. At that time, you could buy the Kindle version of a new release for a couple of bucks vs. the hardcover for $25, but you could also buy fairly recent books and modern classics for $0.99--Vonnegut, King, McCourt, Koontz, etc. Their physical books were still regular price, but their ebooks were cheap. Older classics, those out of copyright, were free! Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, Anthony Trollope, Henry James--download them all for nothing.

Of course, that was then, this is now: Now you can buy a Kindle for $30, but you're going to pay damn near the same for a Kindle e-book as you are for the hardcover. Stephen King's latest book The Outsider is $2.10 cheaper for the Kindle than it is in hardcover. Not what I'd call a bargain, but I still bought the Kindle version because of the whole space restraint thing. 

In addition, now, you sometimes run across a book where the Kindle version is more expensive than the physical book. I'd love to hear the explanation for that.


Complete this sentence: There's a __________ born every minute.

But ten years ago, in 2009, I was sold on e-books. I could still collect books, still read like Henry Bemis in that wonderful Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough At Last," still have all my favorites at my fingertips--and not have the house look like Joe Shit the Rag Man lived here.

PART IV - FINALLY


Are you a book lover or a literature lover? Do you love books for their appearance, feel, and smell or do you love books for the words contained in them? Most likely, it's a bit of both but more of the latter.

I was talking to a friend the other day - a book reviewer/blogger - and I mentioned I'd received an ARC (Advanced Readers Copy) of a novel to evaluate via email. She said she'd received the same book in the mail, but "I got the real book." 

I replied, "Yeah, I got the real book, too." And her answer was, "No, you didn't. You got an e-book. I got a real book."


I like physical books because some of them are cool-looking, but I've still got some ugly-ass books in the slimmed-down version of my physical book collection. There's not an uglier book in the world than my edition of Walden and I've got a copy of Mastering the Art of French Cooking that smells like ass, so don't ever let me bullshit you by saying, "I just love the feel, look, and smell of real books."

I'm getting "more mature" every year which means very few people think I know what I'm talking about anymore, but I do know that we spend the first 55 years of our lives trying to accumulate stuff and the remainder of our lives trying to get rid of it. Getting rid of physical books and replacing them with e-books actually simplified my life. For one thing, it's less to clean. Much as I love seeing books on a shelf, I hate a dusty, neglected bookcase. Much as I love books, clutter drives me insane. And if I see a bookcase that's got volumes sideways, upside down, and backwards with books jammed in horizontally on top of books shelved vertically as if they were driven in there with a sledgehammer, I don't think, "Wow...this person is so well-read..." I think "Somebody ought to tell this person this ain't a dorm room."

I prefer e-books to physical books because:
  1. They're more convenient.
  2. They take up no space.
  3. I can read in bed and Sim can still sleep.
That's it. Those are my only reasons. 

Yes, I'll be sorry if North Korea drops an electromagnetic pulse bomb on us and all our electronic equipment goes tits up but if that happens, I'll probably have more to worry about than slogging through Ulysses.

For all my posturing about physical books and appearances, I admit that I have each of the Modern Library's Top 100 Novels downstairs in a bookcase in the living room. I tell myself I keep them there so I'll know where to find them--they're not mixed in with the books in my office--but part of me knows they're there to announce to other readers who visit, "Look--this guy's a reader, too!" And the physical books I have in my office? My favorites--books I read again and again. Why don't I have them in e-book versions? I do. Then why do I keep the hard copies? Because I'm full of shit. These books aren't just words. Each one tells a story that's not printed inside it. Each ones reminds me of where I was when I got it and what I was doing when I first read it. Some of them have inscriptions I wrote inside. Some are autographed by writers who became friends later on. Some are autographed by writers who turned out to be flaming assholes. Some of them have notes I scribbled in the margin or paragraphs I highlighted. Some of them even have the 8th deadly sin--the folded over page, folded over for a reason.

One of the first poems I published 40 years ago had these lines:

"...so I dropped the pink flower
that I had picked
 from the flowering peach
into a book of Keats
and left it for another day..."

Old Keats is still on the second shelf of one of the bookcases in my office. And on page 126, there's a pressed pink flower.
  















Saturday, November 3, 2018

The Monster

I'm adding my name to the roster of thousands of retired US military personnel voicing their concern that the president's misuse of the Armed Forces in this political stunt is both unlawful and unconstitutional.
Using the military as a prop to sustain the monstrous campaign fiction that poor refugees thousands of miles away from the US border somehow represent a national emergency is not what a sane man would do. It is what a desperate man would do. A desperate man would lie to his countrymen.
The president NEEDS to make this happen in order to create imagery on television to make the fiction appear real. He needs CNN, Fox, NBC, ABC, etc. to show up in Texas and film the 82nd Airborne, the 101st Airborne, and other combat units laying out concertina wire, riding around in armored vehicles, stirring up dust in Humvees--he needs to do this to make gullible people ~believe~ his lies.
A U.S. military report concluded only 20% of refugees will arrive at the border to request asylum. As for claims about “middle Easterners” and “tough fighters," the "assessment does not support any of those claims.”
This is not just the president, either--many Republican incumbents and candidates are "all in" with this prop effort to whip up panic for the express purpose of energizing the GOP base. Their hope is to retain power. It's all about power for them. It's not about you; it's not about me.
These are not the actions of a sane man or a sane political party.
And we need to call it out for what it is.
No more euphemisms, no more bullshit, no more dancing around the lies, racism, hate, demagoguery, and nonstop deception flooding out of official channels.
This is madness.
We have distinguished military people telling us that this obscene misuse of official power is a prop--we have the best minds in this country calling this out as bullshit. Real patriots are putting themselves and their reputations on the line to denounce this theatrical display intended to win an election.
And listen: if you're backing this president's actions because you think that makes you a patriot, it doesn't. It makes you exactly the opposite. A patriot doesn't condone obvious disregard for the Constitution; a patriot doesn't joke about a president unable to tell the truth; a patriot doesn't stand idly by and let this atrocity influence their vote.
I'm worried.
I'm not worried about destitute women and children coming to this country for refuge--that's been going on forever.
I'm worried that my United States--the country of my birth, the country I defended for 25 years--could be in its dying days. I'm worried that people have forgotten what it means to be an American and instead have fallen victim to this "cult of personality" born of the "reality TV" craze of the 21st Century. I'm worried that hatred, pride, selfishness, greed, and racism are being expected--almost welcomed--in our communities.
An old buddy of mine, a guy I served with for over 20 years and one of my best friends used to say, "I'm not afraid of any man living."
Me, neither.
But I am afraid of what's happening to this country--and even more afraid of what might happen with each new day.
This isn't normal fear I'm talking about.
This isn't "I'm scared of the dark" fear.
This is real, helpless fear--the kind you have to wish your way out of. The kind you can't fight with your fists.
The only way to fight this fear is with words, ideas, and knowledge. But no one wants to do that. No one wants to listen, learn, debate, communicate. It's so much easier to worship at the altar of the hyper-wealthy, powerful oligarchs.
"America, where are you now--don't you care about your sons and daughters. Don't you know, we need you now, we can't fight alone against the monster."

Friday, August 10, 2018

Free Speech - It's Not A Right If You Can't Exercise It

    Trump's at it again with the NFL. 
    He's hated them every since the USFL and his team, the New Jersey Generals, bit the dust in 1986. He just can't let it go...
    Something I'll never understand is when veterans and members of the Armed Forces claim they fought to defend the right of NFL players to take a knee...
    But they want to punish players when they do it. 
    See...if players get punished for exercising one of their rights, it's not really "a right."
    Follow me so far?
    Now...of course, you have the right not to watch the NFL. What this accomplishes is punishing the league, the owners, the players, the advertisers, and everybody employed in any capacity who has anything to do with the NFL and their families. It doesn't just punish the kneeling players. And if you're a fan, you're also punishing yourself.
    Still with me?
    Okay, you fought to protect and defend the right of an NFL player to take a knee during the National Anthem. The player takes a knee. Then, because he did what you fought for him to be able to do, you and a bunch of people who think like you do decide you're not going to shell out $150 apiece for tickets so you end up ruining Christmas for the 2-year-old son of the guy who sweeps up the beer cups at Nissan Stadium because he didn't get his bonus this year.
    And THAT'S how ridiculous this entire Trumpian-inspired "no sane person gives a shit" so-called controversy can get.
    Don't fall for it. These players aren't protesting the flag, the country, or the Armed Forces--never have been. Trump wants you to believe that so he can exact his revenge on the NFL. He's using you and your patriotism to try and hurt a league that succeeded where he (once again) failed. 
    He's playing you.