Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Steel Plate / Orange Barrel Concessions

     If anybody wanted to know how to make a fortune, the first thing I'd tell them to do is to get a piece of the steel plate or orange barrel concessions operating in Nashville.
     I don't know who's got their fingers in them now, but they've got to be rolling in the chips.
There's not a single road anyplace downtown that's not lined with orange barrels.  Even the ones with no construction in sight have orange barrels along the sidewalks.  And half of the roads aren't roads at all--they're huge steel plates that cover up abandoned caverns dug into the streets by phantom front end loaders that show up one day and then mysteriously vanish for months.
     I understand now they're getting ready to simply close down Lafayette and 8th Avenue so they can spend the next 2 years putting in a roundabout. Because the one on Music Row works so well.
     The other day I read that a 2.5 million square foot ultra-modern convention center was built in Beijing.  Took them 8 months.  8 months.  
     That hideous gaping hole at the corner of Broadway and 17th Avenue N. has been there for more than FIVE YEARS and the only actual construction done on it happens when one of the downtown crazies throw their empties over the fence.  So why was that really cool-looking Masonic Lodge torn down and replaced with that hole? Who's responsible for that and why does the city let them continue to get away with it?  Why hasn't the thing been condemned, taken back by the city, and sold to somebody who'd actually do something with it?
     You really have to wonder about the leadership in Nashville.  Where is it?  How does Karl Dean get to work every morning?  Do they airlift him in or does he have to drive on these same streets we have to drive on?  Can he not pick up the phone and say, "Hey--fill in those craters on 17th Avenue and pave it.  And don't you dig another fucking hole in another street in this city until you check with me first."
     I have a theory that there's really only one construction crew in the entire city.  That's why there are orange barrels and steel plates all over every single road downtown but you never see a guy with a shovel in his hand. They're always someplace else digging up something else that they don't intend to finish.
     So yeah, if you want to make the big bucks, buy a million orange barrels and as many steel plates as you can afford. Call Karl Dean and tell him you found a few streets left in this burg that are practically begging for barrels and plates.
     You'll be farting through silk in no time.

No comments:

Post a Comment